Wondering how to deal with mixed signals from a guy? It’s a frustrating feeling, leaving you uncertain about where you stand. When you’re faced with confusing signals, knowing exactly what to say can help you feel confident and gain clarity.
Here are 5 powerful texts to use when dealing with those mixed signals so you can confidently navigate dating and stay true to yourself.
When He Hasn’t Texted Back All Day
It’s easy to feel anxious when a whole day goes by without a word. Maybe he’s just busy, but maybe there’s something else going on.
Instead of jumping to conclusions, sending a light check-in text can help you stay calm and open the door to communication.
- What to Say: “Hey, I know life can get busy—just checking in, hoping everything is good on your end.”
- Why It Works: This text is low-pressure but clear. You’re acknowledging he might be busy while gently reminding him that communication is important. It shows curiosity without jumping to conclusions.
When He Keeps Bringing Up His Ex
Hearing about his ex in conversation too often can be uncomfortable, especially when trying to build something new together.
It may leave you wondering if he’s truly ready to move on or still processing past emotions. Addressing this in a confident yet caring way can help refocus the conversation on your connection.
- What to Say: “Hey, I’ve noticed your ex comes up a lot in conversation. I just want to make sure we’re both focused on building our connection. Is it something you’re still working through, or just part of your past?”
- Why It Works: This response lets you acknowledge his past without assuming. It helps him see the importance of focusing on the present relationship, encouraging him to be mindful of how often he brings up his ex. Or to highlight that he may not be fully over his ex.
When He’s Giving the Bare Minimum
If it feels like he’s just coasting along, it’s normal to wonder if he’s really invested.
When the effort seems low, letting him know you’re looking for mutual investment can set the standard for the kind of connection you want and help you see if you’re on the same page.
- What to Say: “Hey, I’ve noticed that sometimes the effort feels minimal, and I value mutual investment in building our connection. Is there something going on, or is this where you’re at right now?”
- Why It Works: This message calls attention to his lack of effort without accusation. By asking if something is going on, you’re showing understanding and making it clear that mutual effort is important to you.
When He’s Pulling Away
You know that heart-sinking feeling when he starts pulling away? It’s confusing, and you’re left wondering if something went wrong. In moments like these, staying clear and confident is everything.
Reaching out with the right words can be the key to understanding what’s really going on.
- What to Say: “Hey, I’ve noticed some space between us lately. I value open communication, and I’d love to know how you’re feeling. Am I sensing that correctly?”
- Why It Works: This text shows you’re aware and willing to open up a conversation without coming across as confrontational. You’re allowing him to share, which can either bring clarity to his feelings or help you see where things stand.
Asking for Consistent Communication
Consistent communication is key to feeling secure and connected, and asking for it isn’t needy—it’s knowing what works for you.
Sharing your needs confidently and openly establishes a balanced, honest relationship where both people feel valued.
- What to Say: “Consistent communication helps me feel connected and secure. I’d love for us to be on the same page. How does that work for you?”
- Why It Works: This communicates your needs confidently and clearly, encouraging him to understand your perspective. By phrasing it as an invitation, you’re allowing him to express his own preferences, too, promoting mutual understanding.
Expressing what you want is all about staying true to yourself and making sure your message doesn’t get lost. Whenever possible, I encourage having these conversations in person—it allows for real connection and reduces the chances of misunderstandings.
And if he can’t give you what you need, remember that walking away is completely okay. Entering a relationship with a clear sense of your non-negotiables is essential—it keeps you grounded in what truly matters to you.
From a secure perspective, it’s about asking for what you want, having an honest conversation, meeting in the middle, and then seeing if the effort is there.
If you’re curious about defining your own non-negotiables, check out my post on how to get clarity on your non-negotiables to dive deeper into what’s most important to you.
Some relationships end too soon because one person isn’t willing to give things a real chance, while others drag on too long, hoping things will change. The key is finding that balance between giving it time and honoring yourself in the process.
